Sept 12: Roy Jr. & Jessie

Roy Jr.
Did you ever do any of that stuff?

Jessie
You’re gonna have to be a little more specific boy.

Roy Jr.
Like strip or dance on the web.

Jessie
Hold on. Hey, Billy! Grab me another one before you come back out, would ya? Anyway.

Roy Jr.
You know my mom hates it when you smoke in here.

Jessie
I’m sure she does. But no, I never do that, the stripping. Look at me.

Roy Jr.
What?

Jessie
You serious, kid? I never was easy on the eyes, even at sixteen. Hell, guys would pay to not have to look at me.

Roy Jr.
Then how did you get into this business?

Jessie
Thanks, Billy. Oh, shit. Negros Modelos? You know I don’t like this. Any Heinies left?

Billy
That’s all that’s left in the fridge.

Jessie
And I suppose it’s too much trouble to get you to fix me a rum and coke?

Billy
Hurk is mixing cocktails in the garage. I’ll ask him.

Jessie
Thanks, hun. So you were asking me if I go down on camera? No way. Hey Billy. Billy! You would pay to not see me naked, right?

Billy
I’d paid you to go down on me.

Jessie
You would.

Billy
I’m serious, Jess.

Jessie
Damn, Billy. Roy’s boy is right here.

Billy
Sorry, Roy.

Jessie
Just get me a Cap’n Coke, ok?

Roy Jr.
I was wondering how you met my Dad.

Jessie
You mean, ‘how did an ugly duck like me wind up in a backwoods island full of sirens?’

Roy Jr.
Sirens?

Jessie
Impossibly cute, achingly sexy girls.

Roy Jr.
I guess.

Jessie
I used to teach carpentry up in Fergus Falls when your Dad was there.

Roy Jr.
Yeah. I remember that. He’d get back at 3 in the morning those nights.

Jessie
Your daddy was quite the chatty flirt. Big surprise huh? Anyway, when he found out I was a CPA, he asked me to help him with his auto-repair business.

Roy Jr.
CPA?

Jessie
An accountant. I’m qualified and licensed to handle business income and taxes and stuff. So, like a few months in, he asks me if I would help out with a little plan he was cooking up. I asked him what the plan was and at first I was like, ‘oh hell no, I’m touching that, Roy. You’ll be shut down in a week.’ And he told me it would all be legit. I told him for weeks, ‘no way.’ We got in a big argument and I split. About six months later he gives me a call the day after Christmas, was it in 2014? I think it was 2014. Could you grab me that ashtray, huh? Thanks.
Maybe 2015. Anyway, he’s telling me the cam business is bringing in more money than he knows what to do with and that he would bring me in with profit sharing if I took over his books.

Roy Jr.
How did he not get shut down?

Jessie
He’s not charging people for real sex, like no one ever touches anyone where money changes hands. He said that someone from the department of commerce or the FTC or some shit–sorry, Roy. Some crap–

Roy Jr.
It’s fine. My Dad swears all the time in front of me.

Jessie
And they shouldn’t, Roy. You don’t need to be spewing filth from such a young mouth. So anyway he–your father–assures me it’s all cool and no one is hiding anything and I check it out. Two years later, here I am.

Roy Jr.
Is it true some of the girls there call you ‘Mom’

Jessie
Who told you that? Heh. Yeah, most of ’em do, except when they call me a lot of other things, but yeah, we’re like a family. A twisted sex streaming family, but I love ’em–most of ’em, like they were my daughters, or the daughters I wished I had.
Thanks, Billy. A lime even? What’s he doing out there, running an Applebees? He must be.

Roy Jr.
You have a daughter?

Jessie
Yeah. Hey Billy, tell Hurk I said thanks.

Roy Jr.
What’s her name?

Jessie
My daughter who hates me and hasn’t called in like ten years? Her name is Cybil. She probably thinks I’m dead, or wishes it.”

Roy Jr.
Why does she hate you?

Jessie
Because Roy, people do really really stupid things sometimes and I–oh, it’s a really long story, Roy Junior. Maybe I’ll tell you some other time. I’m gonna take my drink and my cigarette out to the barn. You with me?

Roy Jr.
Nah. Maybe later.

Jessie
You’re gonna go hang out in your room and veg out on that PlayStation, aren’t you?

Roy Jr.
Probably.

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